“don’t puff up;
don’t shrink back;
stand your sacred ground.”
• Brené Brown
The more I’ve considered what’s instigated my growth, what’s caused such a radical shift in the way I process material and communicate it, the more I realize it wasn’t one isolated incident that preceded it. Hours and hours were spent discovering who I truly am by sifting out what I’m actually not (but believed I was). I have notes and notes of these realizations, and they go back as far as 2015. Discovering that I am not my thoughts, feelings, circumstances, environment, choices (past, present, or future)– I’m not even the backlash of the choices made during moments of mistaking my identity as such — was revolutionary.
While all of this is clearly common sense, it wouldn’t be emotionally or mentally processed if not entertained, and why would it be entertained if not even posed as an alternative perspective at all? Of course I’m not these things, but because I’ve always identified as these things, wouldn’t there necessarily be confusion when relating to the world around me?
This confusion prevented me from believing in what I could experience or achieve; it prevented me from living my life, instead being entertained by the circle of unfortunate streams of thought confused as identity that played in my head (“mindstream”, as Eckhart Tolle has put it). Because of disillusionment, I was afraid to make future choices — clearly I couldn’t be trusted to make sound choices as most of mine ended in unfortunate outcomes (according to how I’d interpreted them, at the time).
I guess it wasn’t until I began to outline and understand what I’m not before I could realize who I am. And when one realizes Who they are — not when they are “told” who they are, but when they really experience who they are — how can change not come from that?
The veils lift.
This is my record of veilings lifted and lifting, in this circuit of grace of which I’m blessed to flow. Epiphanies, revelations, experiences, ideas will be posed here.
Fingers pointing to the moon, so to speak. If it speaks to you, let it resonate. If it doesn’t, let it go.
Nothing real can be threatened.
Nothing unreal exists.
Herein lies the peace of God.
– A Course in Miracles, Combined Volume, Third Edition, copyrighted 2007 by the Foundation for Inner Peace