T Minus 27 Days (and counting): The Witness

I’m fine.  It’s fine.  Everything is fine.  No problem.  I’ll be fine; I’m happy for him– everything is good.


These are the things I hear myself say to myself.  Are they true?  Who cares, right?  They’re just thoughts.  Just like, Omg, what will I do?  How will I react?  Will we ever see each other ever again?  Will I be in a fetal position for an unpredictable amount of days?  Will it feel like when Bubba left?  


Those are thoughts too.


Sometimes there’s this bubbling sensation — or ballooning, ballooning sounds more accurate — in my chest.  This rise and fall of, Here it is.  Here’s that thing you know:  Loss.


I heard a song last night called “Dream Goes On Repeat” by Madi Diaz and The Guest and The Host.

Everyone who loves will leave;
And the dream goes on repeat.

So that’s where I’m at right now.

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