I’m fine. It’s fine. Everything is fine. No problem. I’ll be fine; I’m happy for him– everything is good.
These are the things I hear myself say to myself. Are they true? Who cares, right? They’re just thoughts. Just like, Omg, what will I do? How will I react? Will we ever see each other ever again? Will I be in a fetal position for an unpredictable amount of days? Will it feel like when Bubba left?
Those are thoughts too.
Sometimes there’s this bubbling sensation — or ballooning, ballooning sounds more accurate — in my chest. This rise and fall of, Here it is. Here’s that thing you know: Loss.
I heard a song last night called “Dream Goes On Repeat” by Madi Diaz and The Guest and The Host.
Everyone who loves will leave;
And the dream goes on repeat.
So that’s where I’m at right now.